Power 90 Ropes Course!

I'm like a week late writing this but it needs to be done! Better late than never right? Last Friday I had the most amazing opportunity to go with my power 90 group to a ropes course in Provo. 1st off  I don't know if I've even blogged about Power 90 but it is AMAZING! It is a class that helps you get more of what you want out of life,basically. There is a lot more to it than that but that's the basic. I've set a goal of running a 5k in 90 days. I'm super stoked and I'm getting my goal, along with a whole bunch of other stuff, through power 90. Included in that we have an affirmation statement and I'll just tell you mine now so that you might be able to understand a little bit more of what I'm going to tell you about below. My statement is; " I am an energetic winner and I am proud of who I am! So anyway, ya. We had a chance to go to this awesome ropes course like I said. My mom did this class a few months before me so I knew a little bit of what was coming, or so I thought. I drove there with Jon and Ginger. When we pulled up this is what I saw;

It doesn't look too bad but then I remembered I have this 'awesome' fear of heights. Oh yeah! How did i forget about that? So we spend about an hour just in the parking lot talking about our biggest limiting belief and thing that have been holding us back from what we want out of life. I have the most amazing group of people with me to begin with but then they split us up into 2 smaller groups and I am with the cream of the crop! Seriously, these people are just who I need to be with at this time in my life! Ohana. So we talked about how we could break that belief during the course and we each had something. For some it was just taking a deep breath and a small step forward, another decided to just yell something, for me I got to put my hands on my hips in a superwoman pose:

When we all had our turn to talk we moved on to the 1st exercise. It was called traffic jam. In the activity our Ohana group was split in two sides. We each stood on a colored square and we had to get from one side to the other by finding and following a pattern. It was fun but the point of it was to learn 3 things. 

1. Trial and error  
2. Recognize pattern
3.  Generate efficiency 

From there we moved on to a fun activity where all 12 of us stood on a ~3'x4' platform in a "dragons lair" where we had to figure out a way to get a rope that was bout 6 feet away. Then we had to figure out a way to get to another platform that was about half the size as the 1st one. We had to do all of this in like 25 minutes. It was quite the task but we did it! It was a great starting activity because it helped us all get closer together and we were forced to listen to each other.
Then next activity was so frustrating! It was a log that was probably 12 feet long attached to a cable and slightly off balance. Like so;

               

The point was for us to all stand on it until it was balanced and then sing row row row your boat with out it touching the ground or any of us falling off. Well we didn't too well at this one. We didn't cooperate or listen to each other so we were given a rule that said we had to say the word banana between every word. So a sentence that would have sounded like this;

"We all need to hold on to the rope" ended up sounding like this
" We banana all banana need banana to banana hold banana on banana to banana the banana rope banana."
It just made everything worse so then we couldn't talk. It sure was an adventure eventually we got close but we didn't ever balance it sadly. There we learned about becoming close to our anchors. Anchors can be anything that we love and help us to move on or get through things. The guy who was helping us told us that for him his anchor was Recess Peanut Butter Cups. For me it is music and singing.
At this point we took a break for lunch and when we came back we were transported back to the 1940s during WWII. We were soldiers behind enemy lines and we had to climb a big wall to get to freedom. Our team leaders set a time limit for us of 25 minutes. When they said that I thought that it was WAY too short because there were 25+ people in our group and that meant that we would have to get over the wall in like 30 seconds. Without knowing what was ahead of me I was freaking out! I had done something like this before, or so I thought and I didn't want to do it again. I was picturing something like this

Instead I saw something like a log fastened between two trees about 10-12 feet off the ground. Kinda like this; (and yes I did draw this) 

Nice drawing huh? I thought so too. Just kidding. So for this exercise we had to get 2 people up on top of the dark brown log who would help one person at a time get over to the other side. Everyone else had to put their hands up as like a bubble just in case something happened and someone fell off. This was one of the hardest things for me. I was shaking and then I got told to go over way before I was ready. I was SO glad that my uncle Jon who is in the class too was up on top when I went over other wise I don't think that I would have been able to do it. I would have been way more scared than I was. The best part of the whole thing was that we did it!! We got EVERYONE over in less then 25 minutes! And when you see the group picture at the end you will understand a little bit better at what an amazing accomplishment that was! After that we split in to the two smaller groups again and we did another experience. This one was by far my favorite! It was called levitation. Nothing too big, scary or difficult. Well I thought it was until I did it and then I wanted to do it all day long! What happened was someone would lay down on the ground. The rest of the group would put their hands under them count to three, lift them to about our elbow/ shoulder level, count to three,  lift them up above our heads, count to three, and then slowly bring them down in a rocking motion. We did this all silently and oh my goodness it was so amazing! I WISH I would have had a camera at the moment i was up there! I started to cry just because of the shear beauty and also because I had been so tense with fear and it all just disappeared when I was up there. I had complete trust in the people holding me up and I had trust in my self. 

Something a little like this, But WAY cooler!!

From this we went into our trust fall activity. Not the lame one where you lean back like a foot and someone catches you. but the one where you have a whole team lined up behind you to catch you as you fall off of a log that is high enough that your feet are even with or a little above someones elbow. So like 4 or 4 1/2 feet off the ground. 

 

( I drew that to ;) wink wink) 

At the top you would put your feet together, tighten your glutes, cross your arms. At the same time your Power 90 buddy would position the team so that you would fall just right. Then you would say ready. The team would yell Ready right back and then you would say Falling. Look up at the trees and lean straight back. (being careful not to be a butt rocket-- cause those are painful and not effective!) Once you landed the team would give one word each that they thought described you and then you, yourself would give a good word about yourself. This was POWERFUL! Seriously! It was so amazing! I literally had a team of supporters holding me up and encouraging me, telling me that I really am amazing, beautiful, nice, kind, outgoing, happy, and a winner! I couldn't help but start crying again.

From there we moved on to what would be our last activity, the Big swing!

This was AMAZING! I LOVED it SOOO much! I wish I could do it again! We had to wear a harness and get all safety suited up. Flash back to this; (Alaskan zip-line 2011)

When we got to the top we had to say what we were going to do this week to help us with our goal: AKA Momentum. There were some awesome ones! Gingers was to drive 5 new places. My friend Wendy's was to read the Book of Mormon 5 days during the week with her kids. Another guy Ryan, his was my favorite because his wife is in our group too. His was that he was going to choose peace. If he and his wife fought they couldn't make out but if they chose peace then they had a mandatory make-out session.

My experience on the swing was where I really decided to get things done. I knew before that I wanted to do it but seeing my team pull a rope to get me to the top and thinking about the amazing lesson on trust I had just heard. Knowing that I was in charge of when I fell and let myself swing. All i had to do was let go of that rope and go. Seeing the metaphor of the swing into life- Letting go of my fears and creating a little bit of momentum I could 'swing' to my goal. When I got to the top and they told me to declare my momentum I yelled at the top of my lungs " This week when I finish running I  am going to celebrate like a winner!" and just as quickly, I let go of that rope that was holding me up and I flew! It was so freeing. I think I screamed a little out of fear at first because your free falling backwards for a minute before the ropes of the swing actually hold you. As I reached the back point I prepped myself to try and do a back flip but before I had to pull my superwoman pose to prove that I am super amazing and a super winner! At the end of the swing the group gathered and we talked about everything we learned and we we're informed that we wouldn't have enough time to complete the last challenge which I'm okay with. I think that it would have been good for me to do, BUT I know that I would have been REALLY REALLY scared. I mean if you had to climb up a 25+ foot tall pole and then jump off? I know it would have been really powerful but I can find power other places too that aren't quite as scary. hehe.

Well that was ropes course! I LOVED IT! I would go back in a heart beat! Before I end I just want to share a beautiful picture of my group at the end of it all. 

(Back row; Derik, Jon, Tony, Rebecca, John, Mentor1&2-- can't remember names, Justin, Marline, Jamie, Mentor 3, Susan, 2nd row; Ginger, Kimberly, Wendy, Jenny, Stephanie, Me, Stephanie, Hattie, Emily, Front row; Ryan, Julie, Deborah, Stephanie, Claire, Inga, Erin, Duncan, Stewart, Terra, Esther)
We were missing a few people but I get to spend EVERY Thursday night at 8 with these fine folks. I'm so lucky! G 47 Really does Rock!

Oh yeah, Just beware that there will be many more post in the future about these guys! Just saying! :) So be prepared-- hopefully they won't be so long

As of late...

I'm home!! I cannot even express how happy I am. Well most of the time. Somethings are hard-- i.e; CURFEW! My mom is really great and I don't have to be home by a certain time, I just have to tell her when I'll be home and then I can't be late. But sometimes that is still hard especially when I'm use to not having one at all.
What else have I been doing in the 3 weeks I've been home you may ask. WELL, I'm working 4 days at the library. (Monday and Tuesday Nights and Wednesday and Thursday days.) I LOVE IT!! I get to clerk (check out books, etc.) instead of page (put the books away) AND I get to program! That's my favorite! Programming basically means that I get to help plan and carry out a summer reading class and I'm doing "Books and Babies" for 18 month-3 years old. I'm doing it with 3 other woman, with 2 of us doing each class. I'm doing 6 classes in 2 days. It is Craziness! But I love it.
Also, I took this AmAzInG class called Outlook- Power of Choice. OH MY GOODNESS! It was so powerful! I had a unknown belief that I was unworthy of love, but I changed that belief to " I AM OVERFLOWING WITH LOVE!" Basically it was just a really powerful and life changing weekend. I loved it so much that I have decided to take the next course called Power 90. (P.S. if you are interested in that class I have tickets for 100 bucks compared to the 495-- let me know). I feel so good about this choice. I'm going to do it with Jon and Ginger.

Speaking of Ginger, This is something else I'm excited for- I'm going to IDAHO! I'm excited! We planned it so that we could right after mothers day, changed it so Ginger could go get her stuff from Mini Bazaar,  but we changed it to this weekend so that Ginger could go to a wedding reception for one of her good friends AND so that we could do a photo shoot. I'm SOOOO excited for the photo shoot. I haven't modeled for a while and there is something marvelous about modeling. I don't know what it is but it's way fun! Plus I get to wear (and sell) WAY cute head bands-- check it out at the Paperbag collection. Ginger is so talented. So yeah Idaho. 

Alright, more to come later. TTFN

I just can't wait...

So as of today I only have 22 days before I leave Ephraim, and move back to BeAuTiFuL Pleasant Grove. I CANNOT wait! LET THE COUNT DOWN BEGIN!! :) In honor of the count down, a list of 22 things I'm excited about this summer. (Note; not in order of importance)

1. WORKING!! I'm lame I know, but I LOVE working! I already have a job at the library (again) but this time as a clerk and not a page. I am also hoping to get another job too because I need to save for a car and school. (fingers crossed for the places with connections-- the Italian Place or Emergency Essentials) 
2. Going to Idaho with my Aunti Ginger and my cute little cousins Maddy and Ben. ( Just 3 of my favorite people alive)
3. Spending time with my family and friends! I really, really miss the late nights with my brother. (and Dani, Kaylynn, Hope, Tyler, Christian, Faith, and all my other buddies.)
4. Going to the pool! I haven't been swimming in SO long! I didn't get to go last summer because it was always raining on my days off work :( and I think I only went once the summer before that.
5. Going to my Outlook class. (May 17-19!) http://www.afreshnewoutlook.com/index-1.html
6. No HOMEWORK!
7. Registering for classes at UVU
8. The reestablishment of Hart's runs. ( aka; "Let's go say hi to Kameron" runs)
9. Walks with ZooZoo
10. Training for a 5k (excited by nervous- I CAN DO IT! )
11. Flip Flops and Summer Clothes! Flip flops also mean painting my toes. :) love it
12. More frequent Temple Trips
13. Movie nights! 
14. MACEYS!!!! Psh! Who doesn't love their local grocery store? I don't know why I love Maceys so much, but I do. Alex understands my love... Hopefully others do too.
15. BBQ's in the back yard OR with the neighborhood. 
16. Driving with the windows down! (Especially at night with music blaring)
17. *Hopefully* buying my very own car! I absolutely LOVE my truck, but it's a gas guzzler and it belongs to my parents. Also it has problems,and I need something more reliable. 
18. Cooking, baking, and crafting. Basically- doing the things that I've pinned on Pinterest, but just haven't had the time, money, or resources to do them.
19. My 19th Birthday! What!?!
20. Having my own bedroom! I love Ali-cat but it will be nice to have my own room again. It will also be nice not to have to share a bathroom with 3 other girls.
21. Having the convenience of a ( free) laundry room, a dish washer, and air conditioning. 
22. Snow cones with my dad! 

I can't wait! I don't have a lot of definite plans but the ones that I do have just make me more anxious for summer! It's such a great time!

Pols 1100

WHY!!!! I just don't get how I can research and read stuff for my Pols 1100 take home test, write 4 pages and still get a 73%. It was a freaking good essay too! Both of my essays got -12 because they need more specifics, details, and explanation. I get docked points for not having enough detail. Seriously dude. If I answered the question and have a fairly good response then why don't you give me more than half credit? I really think the only way to get a better score would be for me to write the essay and then just fill it in with a bunch of bs and see if i get a better score. I think I'm going to do the rewrites and try it. Only because it wont hurt and if it helps my grade FANTASTIC! Anyone out there a Political science major, or even if you know a lot about politics. I need your help!

Bromance

So this goes out to my guy friends; Wyatt Lantz, Ethan Warnock, Raine (Alma Forrest) Petersen, and Elder Joey Call. This is there newly dubbed theme song! It is SO funny! AND the awkward part where they are all peeing together just makes me laugh and think of the late nights with them at our apartment. I'm going to miss them (I already miss Joey) a lot when I leave Ephraim (in 33 days btw). So here you go guys!

Update

So here is an update of all the latest drama in Apartment 1. Are you ready? It's another long one. So where did I leave off? Oh yeah Saturday. So Sunday was parents day in our singles ward so my parents and Alex's parents came down and we all went to church together. Kailey's mom and sister came down a little later so we ate dinner with them and then we all back to our apartment and had some DIVINE peanut butter bars that me and Alpaca (alex) made. When we were alone my mom told me that she was having a hard time being nice to Kailey because she knows the whole story and how upset I am about the whole situation. I think that its funny because normally my mom is the type of person who will side with me but she ALWAYS  tries to make me see the other side and understand what they are thinking or maybe why they are doing what they are doing. She is doesn't judge and that is ONE, of the many, things that I love about my mom. So it was crazy to me when she told me that she was having a hard time being nice. Anyway, Sunday was good for the most part. I mean Kailey and I were talking and stuff, the same thing for most of Monday. It felt awkward but it wasn't like Whitney awkward. (which is WONDERFUL) But on Sunday night Christine had a friend over and it was past curfew and they were being loud, Kailey texted me and asked if i was awake, and I was because they were being loud and because I was restless. So I asked her to give me Christine's number so I could text her and tell her It was curfew and that her friend needed to go home. Well she didn't respond, or listen for that matter. But by 12 they were quiet, so I was able to go to sleep. On Monday night it was worse because it was John John (Christine's boyfriend) and they kept waking me up by turning on the lights and being kinda noisy. (again because I was restless and easily a waken.) Because of this I had drafted an email to send to our manager, and I was going to get up on Tuesday morning and send it to her. On Tuesday morning at like 7:45 or 8 my phone buzzed more than once, which usually means that someone is calling me, and because it was so early it worried me so I looked. Nope, not a call, just 4 text messages.  2 from Brian and 2 from Kailey. Brian's said;

"I hope this doesnt wake you up if you are asleep, but last night was the second night in a row that john john broke curfew (technically Christine, but yeah...). he and christine kept kailey up all night with their noises. I'd like to talk to you about that sometime today."

So I just gave a simple answer of "Don't worry about it, I've taken care of it." and he responded simply (for the first time in his life...) saying "alright thank you." The thing that makes me upset with that is because it kept me up too, not all night but it did wake me up a lot. Kailey's text are when it gets interesting.

"Hopefully this doesn't wake u up, if it does i'm super sorry! but did you end up texting christine about curfew the other night?"

I was upset because I honestly don't think it was a coincidence that they texted me at the same time so I may have been a little bit rude. This is what I said

" Yeah she didn't respond so I've taken care of things. Oh can you let Brian know that he doesn't have to be a jerk. I am aware of what goes on here to be a jerk. I'm fully aware of what goes on here and I;m taking care of things. That wold be great. Sorry, I'm not upset with you just him."

So I told her about how I was going to email Gwenaly to which she asked if I would send her the email so she would know what it said so I fwd. this to her;

"Hey Gwenaly, 

I feel bad  that I have to turn to you about this but it has become a really big issue in our apartment. I know that Kailey talked to you a few days ago about how she broke curfew. She told us what you said about how we need to work things out as roommates. Which is great, we have worked things out, especially because all of us have struggled with the curfew rule. I need to let you know the reason as to why this has escalated to a bigger problem for me and Alex though. The biggest reason we we're upset is because it's not that there is someone at our house, it's that there is a boy in the room with the lights off, the door closed and locked. It just gives off the wrong impression. That has happened both with Kailey and Christine. I know that there have been sexual activities going on with Christine and her boyfriend, but as far as I know, nothing like that has happened with Kailey. It's really hard for us because we feel like we are confined to our room. We can't shower, use the bathroom, or even be in the living room or kitchen, especially when they push the couches together to sleep on. I don't know if you want to take care of this or if I should say something more to them, but I figured that I would let you know so that hopefully I can get your input on how to deal with this for the next 2 months.  Thank you so much Gwenaly, you really are a great manager. I'm sorry that I have to bug you but I think that you have a right to know what's going on. Sincerely, Kaci"

So after that Kailey was kinda upset because I "tattled" on her but like I told Gwenaly, it's something that she deserves to know about. Kailey asked me to tell her when Gwenaly replied, it took a little while for her to respond and I just got it this morning. I wasn't trying to avoid Kailey's text but I had been in class and at the library with spotty reception so I ended up with like 3 texts asking me if I had gotten an email back. I felt bad because she was obviously worried about it, but I wasn't able to respond until like 10:30 ish.
So the email that Gwenaly sent back said that she was going to meet with Kailey and Christine today at 3:30 (like right now... they are in the other room talking about it and my stomach is in butterflies because I'm worried about how they, especially Christine, is going to react. I can hear Christine in there getting defensive and Gwenaly trying to calm her down :S) I'm really glad that I finally talked to Gwenaly about this, its one weight off of my shoulders but it has been replaced by another. I really hope that things will finally work out. At least to the point that I will be able to live here peaceable for the next 45 days left in this place! THEN I"M GOING TO BE AT HOME! HOORAY!

Drama, drama, drama!

Any guesses as to what movie the Title quote came from? Well I think that it is fitting for what happened last night. I didn't get to bed until 6:15 this morning.
So I don't think that I have ever had so much drama in my life as I did last night. I'm so sick and tired of trying to work things out and help my roommates and friends. We have had a lot of problems keeping the rules of our apartment and I've tried really REALLY hard to be nice and understanding. After spring break, where I was able to talk to my family about things that have been going on, I realized that its not right for me to feel uncomfortable in my own home. So I decided that we need to start working on being better. In order to do this, I was going to enforce curfew hoping that if we followed that rule then the other problems, like boys sleeping over, might stop. I informed my roommates and my friends. I made sure that they knew that I would talk to management if it continued. Things have been pretty good this week. The boys have left right at or just a few minutes after curfew which was exciting for me because that is good progress.
This is where the story changes. Last night Alex and I went to Raine's house to watch a movie and hang out. We got home at 1:45 ish and Brian's (basically Kailey's boyfriend) car was parked across the street, so we knew he was at our house. We figured that Kailey and Brian would just be watching Psych in the living room and just didn't realize that it was past curfew. When we walked in they were not in the living room and Kailey's bedroom door was shut and the light was off. Alex and I figured that they were asleep and honestly I thought that they were trying to pull a fast one on us and that I would just be fine with him staying over.So i texted him telling him it was curfew and that he needed to go home. Honestly, I am really uncomfortable with boys staying the night. And when Brian stays the night it encourages our other roommate Christine to let her boyfriend sleepover and when ever he is around I just get a bad feeling. I also was raised in a house where boys were not allowed in my room, especially with the door shut (unless it was family). I don't really care whats going on behind the door with the light off, they could innocently be sleeping one on the floor and one on the bed, BUT it just gives a really bad impression and it makes me feel awkward. So I stuck to my guns! I felt that it wouldn't be fair for me to turn to our manager without informing Kailey. So I, with Alex's help, drafted a letter informing Kailey of the situation and what I would be doing and then I told her that it made me feel uncomfortable and that I felt that they were disregarding my requests. Requests that dealt with my safety and moral reasons.  I put it in an envelope and slipped it under the door. Then I went to bed. By this point it was like 2:30 AM so I went to bed. Before I even had the chance to fall asleep I heard Kailey's bedroom door and then the front door. Alex heard it too and she said that Brian had left. She got up and went to get some water, and while she was gone I received a text from Kailey Saying that she was sorry for breaking curfew, it was an accident and then she went off talking about how why would I turn them in but not Christine. It made me upset, because I felt that she was accusing me of unfairly judging them when she was aware of my new feelings. She may not have known why, but she knew that I was going to be enforcing the rules. So I responded asking Why they were in her room if they had the whole house to themselves. Then I told her of my epiphany during spring break and how I realized I needed to have the integrity to stand up for what is right, even if it meant standing alone, even if it meant standing up to my own family, friend, or a girl I hardly know. I also told her about how it was her choice to keep or break curfew and it was my choice to talk to management or not. Then she just went off on how she is suicidal. I know that she has depression and that yeah when you are depressed you have thoughts like that BUT she only pulls that card when she wants attention! I don't take it lightly, I have and will continue to make sure that she is safe because I could never live with knowing that something happened because I didn't believe her but I feel that SOMETIMES she does it just so that people will feel bad for her, or apologize, etc.
This is where the "good" (not so good, but juicy) stuff happened. Brian texted me a 17 page text. OKAY! And this is what it said; and I quote- (misspellings and all)

•       "Fist thank you for the letter, i'm grateful that you informed me about your unfortunate decision. This message is to let you know a few things. In regards to your letter itself, in my opinion (this is my "favorite" part) as a published author and and acomplished wordsmith your letter was laughable at best. For you to even begin to think that kailey would purpously and without shame break a curfew is a truly sad testimony to your character and your understanding of mine. secondly, i feel that my rights under the 6th amendment ensure me the right to be there in person as you accuse me of this curfew violation.(not true-- that is only in the court of law or for prosecution.) If you fail to ensure my personal presence at the time you tell the landlord it may result in my taking legal action as far as suing you for heresay and slander. (how is that here-say? and as for slander... okay, no.) It would be unfortunate to face you in court because I still value our friendship and feel that a courtroom may end that. next i would like to address your letting christine break the rules on a regular basis, if you do not inform gwenaly about christines sexual activities and your own curfew and bedroom violations (that makes it sound like I'm be OOBER hypocritical when really my "bedroom violation" includes letting a boy in my room with the lights on and with Alex and/ or Kailey and or HIM in my room for a few minutes and NEVER to sleep or any kind of physical things.) Then i will again be prompted to inform her myself and take legal action. Now my own personal feelings are shame at myself, regret for kailey who has plenty to worry about already and now will spend a sleepless night before her all day shift at subway (ooh, I'm SO sorry that she wont sleep because SHE broke the rules... I know she is stressed. I live with her but I don't mean to be rude but there are thing that she could do-- like not spend time watching TV instead of doing homework until 10:30. but that is my personal opinion.) and dissapointment in you(um.. okay. RUDE!), alex and raine (why raine? he wasn't involved)  for your harsh judgement and lack of faith. I will be telling these things to gwenaly tomorrow and am willing to swear before you, a judge, my parents, and the police that no sexual activities tok (?) place during the curfew violation. if this is questioned i wil be submitting my self to a full physical evaluation of myself to prove that i have been no where close to sex in my life. (can they really test a male? just asking a honest question. BUT ALSO... When did I say anything about them having sex? Oh yeah, NEVER!) on the other hand the outstanding testimony and physical evidence against christine will be clear (okay? I know that Christine has had sex, yes, in my apartment, but he really felt the need to say that? maybe i feel that way only because of what is coming...) i will also be informing christine and john john about my unfortunate decision and will be supporting the both as best i can to ensure they are fairly treated as they are not the only ones breaking the rules. (I know that they are not the only violators. I am guilty too, but there are different punishments for different offences. I think that having sex in the room is a greater offence then letting a boy come into my room for a few minutes.) thank you and goodnight. i await your reply so i can be present to face your accusation tomorrow and to admit my guilt and regret to gwenaly about the whole instance, and if needed to inform city authorities on what legal action will be taken if any. to close i feel more protective of kailey than anyone but family, and wil defend her from anyone and everyone who could cause her harm of anytype. Goodnight. (so now i'm causing her harm? okay because i think that we are good enough friends that we are able to work things out and she trusts me with her deep secrets. She is like family to me-- even when she does something that might annoy me. I'm not going to "hurt" her.)

After re-writing that I find it really funny that he starts out my saying he is a published author because you wouldn't know. I'm not trying to be rude but honestly, give me a break.
So after that, I didn't even know what to say so I said this;

• "Okay. Lets blow this extremely out of proportion and send 17 text. But because its 3:15 in the morning i will be more than willing to talk to you tomorrow." 
• (he responds with;) "Lets blow this out of proportion? i'd rather not. Sorry to have woken you i assumed your phone was silent and you would receive then in the morning." 

After that I was just really done and Kailey was talking more and MORE about how she felt suicidal and I suddenly had this thought of how Brian had been making her a knife and I was really hoping that he hadn't given it to her already. So I asked him because she wasn't responding. I sent him a simple text of "did you give Kailey that knife yet?" and i was bombarded with another  ridiculous text;

• "Because your letter is making her feel even more suicidal then she felt when i stayed in her room with her and fell asleep on accident which led to me breaking the curfew? dont worry. i take all the blame if something happens. i should be able to stay awake or at least set an alarm for myself." 

I WAS LIVID!!!! HOW DARE HE PUT ALL OF THE BLAME OF KAILEY BEING SUICIDAL ON ME! YEAH I MADE HER UPSET BUT IF A STUPID LETTER EXPLAINING THAT I WAS OFFENDED BY THEIR ACTIONS IS GOING TO MAKE HER SUICIDAL, SHE NEEDS TO BE ON MEDS!!!!!!!!! Even though he said he would take the blame, that doesn't change the fact that I would feel so bad. I couldn't even respond nicely, so I said

• "Okay simple question. You can't even answer simply. Never mind then."

I ended up going in to check on her and her ONLY excuse as to why she hadn't done anything was because she had to work in the morning. I'm sorry, but if you are really suicidal, it wouldn't matter if you had to work in the morning. Another reason I think that it is just to get attention.
So eventually, Kailey came into our room and talked with me and Alex. We worked things out enough that we can live together and still be friends. BUT the only thing it that she texted our manager and told her that she had broken curfew. (only to avoid me doing so) The problem is that breaking curfew isn't the only reason i wanted to talk to management.
Today, our manager called and talked to Kailey telling her that she doesn't want to deal with curfew if we can handle it as roommates, and that she did not want to talk to Brian. I feel like i still need to inform the manager as to what is going on but it might just cause more problems, but I'm to the point that I don't care.
The most annoying part of this story for me is that when Kailey got home from work she was talking to Brian and I hear her say well I'll ask Kaci. Then she hangs up and comes to talk to me. She then tells me about how Brian's brother is in town and he wants to hang out with us. Well Brian's brother Zack is awesome, and he doesn't come into town very often. I felt bad saying no but I knew that if i were to be around Brian that  I would come across as a... how should I put this.... a not so nice word that starts with a b. Brat. Yeah that's the word. I decided that I needed to get out of the house and talk to my mom so i called her and took a walk around the block. About half way though my walk, I hear a truck behind me and it slows down i look over as it passes and it is Zack and Brian. well they flip around like 4 times and drive past me and then go to my apartment. I was not ready to face Brian, but weather i liked it or not, it was time. So they come in and Kailey is getting ready so it's just the 3 of us. Well then Zack goes out to his truck to bring something in and show me, so it was just me and Brian alone. It was really really awkward so I told him.
"Um... so, Brian. I think that we need to talk about what happened last night but some of the things you said were really hurtful and I'm not ready to talk about them." all he said was "umm humm." THAT WAS ALL! So I then said, "I just wanted you to know so that you don't think that I'm being rude if I don't talk to you like normal." again just a "Umm, humm. okay." Then Zack came back in and i was able to talk to him until Kailey came out and helped the awkward moment. Brian keep trying to leave and go make food. When they were leaving, Kailey asked if they would be coming back and Zack said yes but then Brian started making excuses so I'm pretty sure that he is still upset too. UG! I HATE FIGHTING! but ya know, if he is going to be the type of "friend' who is willing to take me to court for something so minimal, I don't really even want to be friends with him at all. OH well. Maybe one day we can trust each other again, but right now, I would rather have a few close and REAL friends then a lot of FAKE friends.
There is my peace. Sorry its long, but it's my journal and one day I'm going to be able to look back and see this and remember that I made it, I CAN do HARD things! The lord has blessed me and I know that what I am doing, the things that I am standing up for, they are right and I will be blessed.
OH YEAH! by the way the movie quote "drama, drama, drama." Is from How to Loose a Guy in 10 Days. LOVE THAT MOVIE! :)