Okay, SO I have quite the story to share (beware its long). On Wednesday night the 6th season of Psych started up. Well my roommates Alex and Kailey, and I are BIG fans! So what do we do? We decide to have a pineapple party-- if you watch the show then you get the joke, other wise it just sounds dumb. ANY WAY, the show didn't start until 11, so we invited everyone over at 10:45. At 10:40, my roommate Whitney calls me and says, "Someone is going to come over and ask you to True Badger Night." In case you don't know... True Badger Night, on a full moon at mid-night, under the bell tower, people take someone and kiss for a whole minute and become "true badgers". If you don't have anyone to go with then you wear red, find someone else wearing red, and you kiss them. Whitney had been trying to get me to go all week, BUT, I am not the type of person to kiss a random stranger, so I had said no. You can imagine my complete shock when Whitney called me and wouldn't tell me who. I'm freaking out so much that I don't even remember what I said to her. I try to hold my frustration, fear, and shock in when our friends arrive, but I don't think it worked very well. I waited for 54 minute until my phone vibrated, I was ecstatic thinking it was Whitney texting me to tell me that the boy had changed his mind. To my surprise, it wasn't. I was our friend and roommate of Whitneys' boyfriend, Nathan. He was sitting 2 people away from me so for a moment, I was slightly confused. THEN, it hit me like a ton of bricks as I read the text, which said, " I wouldn't text you if i could get you alone..But do you want to go to True Badger night with me?" I was utterly shocked! I hardly know this kid! I've hung out with him twice, and he's really shy and quiet so I don't know that much about him. Not to mention that he looks IDENTICAL to my 10 year old cousin, AND, I've never been kissed. I contemplated my options, Text him back, not text him back; well I have to text him back, he saw me read the text. Okay, my response; HECK NO BUDDY!, Um, no... sorry, Sure (bad idea!), or be completely honest? I choose the latter, saying "um I would, but to be completely honest, I've never been kissed and I don't think that tonight is the right night. I'm sorry." In doing this, I felt like a TOTAL jerk, like a horrible person, I wanted to bury my head and cry. But instead, I stayed where I was, acted totally poised until he texted back saying it was fine, but let me tell you, he did not look fine. At that moment, I felt the weight of the world. When the show was over, and he was leaving, I followed him out and apologized once more. He was nice and understanding but I still felt horrible. Whitney came in a few minutes later and grabbed my hand pulling me toward my room, I looked to Alex longingly, knowing I was about to be chewed out, and gave her a look of, I NEED YOUR HELP! She followed and we all went into my bedroom where Whit talked to me about how bad it made him feel, only making me feel worse. I texted him again saying " I really am sorry Nate. I'm honored to have been asked by such a great guy like your self, It was just to much for me to handle tonight." We texted for a while and decided to hang out again soon, so things are better, still awkward, but better. Well afterwards, Alex and I went on a walk. As we walked I realized, Why do I feel bad? Why do I feel bad for not giving away something that is important to me. Yeah, it might be a simple kiss, BUT, to me, that is important. I don't just go throw myself at every boy I see. I respect myself enough not to do that. Not saying that those who kiss a lot are bad, but for me, a kiss is something that means that you care for someone. So basically, this story taught me a lesson, Be proud of who you are! Even if its something as silly as being part of the VL club at 18! :) That's my thought of the day.
